In this photo, T.J. Miller of Yogi Bear 3D fame looks slightly down and to his right with his light, tannish-green eyes. His curly, dirty blonde hair comes to about 3 inches from his shoulders. The curls are about an inch and a half in diameter. His hairline comes to a peek at the top of his forehead, slightly to the left of the line formed by his nose. T.J. Miller, on the set of Silicon Valley, playing Erlich Bachman, legendary incubator owner and home to Pied Piper's founder, has interesting facial hair. He has mutton chop sideburns that connect to a an approximately centimeter thick mustache at the bottom. He also has a goatee that connects to a beard that covers his chin and is about 2 inches across. His facial hair is red and a few millimeters long where grown in. His stubble, in the 1.5 inch strips between his sideburns and beard, is fairly prominent; the stubble on the left side of his face seems to be coming in a bit thicker, but this may just have to with the lighting from the photo which is coming from his right. T.J. Miller is holding his head about 15 degrees to the left of vertical (from his perspective), and has it slightly sloped backwards with his chin pushed out. A couple millimeters of the (shaved) skin underneath in his chin is visible below his beard. T.J. Miller's eyebrows are groomed and are a color between the color of his beard and that of his hair. They are a bit more than a quarter inch thick growing slightly thicker as they move away from the middle of his face. They have been plucked (or waxed or threaded) until they almost reach the edge of his eyes, making the gap between them a bit more than an inch across. His left eyebrow seems to be plucked a little bit more from the middle using the line made by his nose as a guideline. T.J. Miller's nose is a few inches long and about an inch wide. He has a small dimple at the bottom that points more toward his right. His left nostril is slightly more flared than his right one. He has many small blemishes (seemingly primarily sunspots) on his face with larger but more sparse ones on his nose. T.J. Miller's eyelids are covering about a millimeter of the iris. The diameter of his pupils are about equal to the width of his iris. His sclerae are subtly cloudy, but much, much less than you would expect with how much marijuana he smokes. There is a hint of bags underneath his eyes, less apparent on the right side of his face because of the lighting. Both his upper and lower eyelids have very small wrinkles in them. T.J. Miller's eyelashes are blonde and barely visible (probably because of the lighting). The ones on the outside of his left eye are the most visible and probably around a centimeter long. A few inches of T.J.'s neck is visible, and he is wearing a green t-shirt that is barely visible on the right side of the picture.
This photo sends a shiver through my soul. There is just something about his expression that just does not seem T.J.-like. If it turns out that a lizard person or a similar creature had used his body as a vessel for a couple of days, I 'm guessing this photo was taken then. Maybe it is just the angle he is holding his head (on both axes) and the dead look in his eyes; he is the abyss that stares. I also picked this photo because T.J. Miller reminds me of Sid from Ice Age for some reason. I can't quite put my finger on why. It may just be because I have seen the linked photo before and they are holding their heads in the same position, but it seems like the similarities go deeper than that.
I chose to start The Internet's Celebrity Faces series with T.J. Miller because he is one of this generation's best comedians. He is one of the few comedians that actually lives his comedy. Whether it is driving a ?car? (that wouldn't usually have phenomenal rims) with ?spinning? rims, starring in the talking bear comedy genre defining masterpiece that is Yogi Bear 3D, wearing grillz on the red carpet, or keeping up his drunk-uncle-that-recently-washed-off-his-clown-makeup look, the comedy does not stop once he walks off stage. A champion of absurdist humour and a nihilist that believes one of the most important things to do is accept death, T.J. Miller will surely go down in history.
Published: July 5th, 2015
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