Ask AI: Write me a funny best man speech

Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends, Family, and those who just wandered in for the free food, For those of you who don’t know me, I’m [Your Name], the best man. Notice I said "best man," not "better man"—because let’s face it, if I was the better man, I'd be the one marrying [Bride's Name]! I'd like to start by congratulating [Groom's Name] on his excellent taste in choosing me as his best man. It's truly an honor to be here today, even though it does mean I had to buy a suit and pretend to be a responsible adult for a few hours. I’ve known [Groom's Name] for [number] years. And in those years, I’ve seen him grow from a guy who once tried to microwave a Pop-Tart with the foil still on, to a man standing here today, marrying the love of his life. Honestly, [Bride's Name], what a transformation. You've truly worked miracles. While preparing for this speech, I asked myself what particular wisdom or heartfelt advice I should impart to these newlyweds. But who are we kidding? Marriage advice from the guy who once got his tongue stuck to a frozen pole? Probably not the best idea. Now, I can tell you a lot about [Groom's Name]. For instance, did you know he was voted "Most Likely to Wear Mismatched Socks” in high school? Or that he once declared that "pizza is a vegetable"? Well, I’m happy to say, [Bride's Name] has lovingly accepted all of his quirks. Or maybe she just hasn't discovered them all yet—I guess that's part of the honeymoon adventure. In all seriousness, [Bride's Name], thank you for loving my best friend. You've made him the happiest man in the world, and for that, we are all grateful. And [Groom's Name], my best advice to you is simple: Always remember to say those three little words—“You are right.” To wrap this up, I’d like to propose a toast. Here’s to love, laughter, and a happily ever after. And here's to [Groom's Name] and [Bride's Name], may your days be filled with joy, your nights with romance, and your shelves with no more mismatched socks. Cheers!