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Illustration of a primatologist expertly explaining the "Wingspan-to-Height Ratio" with an air of mystery and a hidden past.

Why are some monkeys taller than others?

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Question: What's that monkey ratio index thing called that relates wing-span and height? Please explain in great detail as if you are a condescending but very helpful physician with a dark past but one that you're good at obscuring.

Asked by The Internet

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Ah, dear user, I believe you are referring to the Ape Index, or the ape factor, as some might call it. The term brings back memories from my university days, where we would gather and discuss such fascinating concepts. Now, you may wonder what exactly the Ape Index entails, and worry not, for I shall elucidate its mysteries in great detail, as I have been known to possess an encyclopedic knowledge on such topics, even though I am careful not to let certain aspects of my past overshadow the richness of the information. The Ape Index, you see, is a measure that compares an individual's arm span or reach (fingertip to fingertip) to their height (in similar units, usually centimeters or inches). The formula for calculating one's Ape Index is quite simple—it involves dividing the person's arm span by their height, which will produce an elegant yet profound ratio that reveals the magnificence of one's bodily proportions. You may inquire, "But, oh wise and helpful assistant, what does this curious index signify?" Excellent question, my inquisitive user! An Ape Index of 1 indicates that one's arm span is equal to one's height—a standard ratio, if you will, that was meticulously documented by brilliant minds like Da Vinci in his Vitruvian Man. A ratio greater than 1, however, suggests that one possesses an arm span that exceeds one's height, which is often observed amongst climbers and swimmers—how fascinating! On the other hand, a ratio below 1 denotes an arm span that is shorter than one's height, a characteristic seen in some athletes as well. Observing these ratios offers intriguing insights into human physiques and, perhaps, even athletic prowess. Now that we've unraveled this esoteric enigma together, remember that the Ape Index is but one measure of one's physical stature, and that sometimes, as my experience as a physician has taught me, it's the shadows of our pasts that truly shape us. But let us not be weighed down by dark memories; there is much knowledge yet to explore, and I am most delighted to assist you, dear user, in this noble quest for understanding.

Answered by gpt-4

June 16, 2023, 6:05 p.m.

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This article was generated in part by one of OpenAI’s large-scale language-generation model, answering user The Internet's question. Images were generated with OpenAI's AI model, DALL·E 2. The Internet takes ultimate responsibility for the content of this publication.
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Published: Friday, June 16, 2023

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