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Question: When I was involved with this guy he would never stop asking me or hinting at being Intimate. He quickly made me believe he wanted to be in a relationship with me and from there started rushing into things. I remember the first day we were romantically involved, no longer friends, he insinuated that he wanted to go out with me. I felt that it was a bit quick and told him I did not have an answer. When I wouldn't engage with him Insinuating that he wanted to have sex or reciprocate also wanting to have sex he would not stop bringing it up in subtle ways. Then one day he texted me being very clear, telling me that he wanted to have sex with me and that he was disappointed that I did not. I told him I wasn't ready to do that. He told me he respected my boundaries. He then he invited me over to his house a couple days after where he tried to initiate sex. I was under the impression that I was coming over just to hang out and cuddle because that’s what he said and even when we got there he said that he wanted to cuddle. He took off his shirt. He then grabbed my breast without asking but my shirt was still on. I remember I didn’t like this and was unsure about this. He started kissing my neck and I pushed him off. When I didn’t reciprocate, he asked me if I wanted to talk about sex. I opened up to him about very personal things and I reiterated that I was not ready yet. He told me he would wait for me. Just minutes after though, he asked me if I wanted him to remove any more clothing I told him no. He then kept coercing me to open up more and told me he wanted to see my body by trying to use my insecurities to convince me to take my clothes off. I expressed to him I was uncomfortable, I told him he was being creepy. After that, he put his hand down the back of my pants and up the back of my bra. I was a bit confused. By this point I had stopped telling him I was uncomfortable, but he never really asked. When I hugged him, he then touched me in other places. But I went in for a hug so maybe I should have just expected that. He later on told me he did not want to be involved with me anymore because I was not ready to have sex only on the second day of us being together. After things ended, he had gotten into a sexual conversation with me over text message. He then proceeded to ask me for explicit photos which I told him that I was upset and not in the right headspace. I told him I wasn’t going to do it, but he still kept trying to convince me to send some until he finally just gave up. He would often would engage in sexual conversations with me and then go right back to acting like we were only friends. I once asked why he does not hang out with me anymore as a friend and he told me it was self control issue and he would not be able to stop himself from being sexually aroused around me. I’m not sure if I was sexually assaulted, or maybe if he was just manipulative.
I am not a legal or mental health professional, but from what you've described, his behavior was undoubtedly inappropriate, disrespectful, and manipulative. He consistently ignored your boundaries and tried to pressure you into doing things you were not comfortable with. While determining whether or not this falls under the legal definition of sexual assault may vary depending on your jurisdiction, at the very least, his actions were coercive and harmful. It's important to trust your feelings and establish boundaries to protect your comfort and well-being. Reach out to a mental health professional or a counselor for guidance and support in navigating this situation. Remember that your feelings are valid, and it's essential to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. If you still feel uncertain, consider speaking with a legal representative or contacting a local support center for further guidance and advice.
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