Tammi's Shaming and Belittling of Me for Not Taking Her Hint

It sounds like you are feeling frustrated and misunderstood by Tammi's communication style. It's important for both parties to feel heard and understood in a conversation. It would be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with Tammi about how her communication style is making you feel. You could try saying something like, "I appreciate your effort to give me hints, but sometimes I need more direct communication in order to understand. I also felt hurt when you dismissed my confusion and called me an 'idiot'. Can we work on finding a communication style that works for both of us?" Remember, effective communication is a two-way street and requires both parties to be willing to listen and adjust their style.