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Question: My father in law and mother in law they always invade our privacy and decision making in our life with my husband . And they think this is because they are protecting us .we don’t have any issues with my husband but our one and only fight is always about them . I want them to understand they are causing big marriage damage in our life and this is threatening our marriage. And another issue is my husband can’t see his parents upset , their emotions are much important for him . Because he thinks if they are sad he is disrespectful to them although no it’s not that at all . Today we were all on the phone and they were constantly talking about a thing which is yet to happen for us . I AM NOT COMFORTABLE to talk about things that had happened yet for us and it’s a matter of decision between my husband and I . And I also got little angry , that there is so much talk on this topic and I’m really tired of this matter , to mention the anger was nothing to ward my mother in law , but she got upset thinking I AM attacking her ! Now she is telling I won’t talk and all . Write and elaborate discussion covering ALL the points mentioned. And importantly mention that this is an huge issue that we are facing and I DID NOT mean to hurt her ! Please note that , they do not understand at all , at any point that they are wrong and they think THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT , AND WE MUST LISTEN TO THEM . And there is no way yo change my father in laws mentality at this point of time .
Subject: Discussion on Respecting Privacy and Decision Making in Our Marriage Dear Father-in-law and Mother-in-law, Firstly, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for the guidance and concern that both of you continue to show our family. Your unwavering support and protective nature are cherished, and I understand that your intentions stem from a place of love and concern for both of us. However, it's essential to engage in an open conversation about a matter that has been causing some strife within our marriage recently. I bring this issue forth not to assign blame, but to foster understanding, heal our relationship, and fortify our family bonds. Often, it feels that our privacy and decision-making ability are impacted by external influence. Remember, while you mean well, the ability to make our own choices is an integral part of our growth as a couple. Your guidance is greatly appreciated, but there comes a point in every couple's life where they need the freedom to make independent decisions. Over-involvement can inadvertently cause more harm than good, and it has caused significant strain on our marriage lately. Moreover, it's critical to talk about the incident that happened recently during our phone conversation. Just to clarify, my expressions of frustration were in no way meant to be attacks on either of you, especially not on you, mother-in-law. I understand the conversation made you upset, and for that, I am sorry. The intention behind my strong response was to communicate my discomfort about the discussed topic, not to insult or hurt anyone. The point being, everyone has certain matters they're comfortable discussing and others they'd rather not. For us, there are certain decisions and future plans we wish to discuss privately before letting anyone else in. I believe this is a reasonable request and it does not embody any disrespect or ungratefulness towards your advice. My concern is that both of you may construe this as a means of distancing ourselves, but that is far from the truth. We value your input and wisdom on many matters, but allowing us the freedom to navigate some areas independently would actually bring more peace and stability to our relationship as a couple, and thus indirectly strengthen our relationship with both of you. Remember, this does not mean we're disregarding your feelings, thoughts, or experiences. Rather, we are simply seeking the right balance between leaning on your wisdom and living independently as a couple. I humbly request you to understand our perspective. We just want to ensure that our relationship continues to be one borne out of mutual respect, understanding, and strong familial bonds. Kind regards, [Your name]
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