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Question: Critique the paragraph below taken from an actual business correspondence. Rewrite it to achieve clarity and conciseness. “In order to facilitate an efficient meeting and fule thought processes prior to June 25, I want to provide you with a brief overview of discussions recently carried out at the director and manager level within the process. These discussions involved personnel from Accounts Payable, Information Services, procurement/Materials Management, Financial Systems, and Propoerty Accounting centering on a proposed framework for managing process improvement moving forward.”
To ensure a productive meeting on June 25, I'm sharing a summary of recent discussions between directors and managers from Accounts Payable, Information Services, Procurement/Materials Management, Financial Systems, and Property Accounting. These talks focused on a proposed framework for managing process improvement moving forward.
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