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Dear [Friend's name], I know you were probably expecting me to send you a birthday text, but apparently, written words are back in style. Hence, I took it upon myself to sit down and conjure up an intricate piece of literature that will tickle your funny bone and warm your heart while at the same time reminding you that, well, you're old. So buckle your seatbelt for the long - very, very long - wild birthday ride! First, let's address the elephant in the room—this isn't a normal birthday, it's your birthday, and that's kind of a big deal. Big enough for me to pull out all stops – including punctuation. To me, your birthday isn't just another day on the calendar. No, it’s a national holiday in the Country of Friendship! Just think about it: Today’s the day you, the Adam Sandler to my Chris Rock, a friend who sometimes has the maturity of a toddler but is the wisest person I know, came into this world. I am endlessly grateful that of all the 7 billion people on this planet, I was lucky enough to find you and happier than a sloth on a slow day to call you my friend. One of the most hysterical things about celebrating your birthday every year is seeing you deny that you're ageing. If there's anyone who could make denial an Olympic sport, it's you! Remember when we were kids and we couldn't wait to grow up? Well, jokes on us, huh? Don’t forget to take your gifted bottle of wrinkle cream seriously. I didn’t spend a whopping amount of [insert currency] for it to be stuffed away into the abyss of your bathroom cabinet. On your special day, I thought of giving you the cutest gift in the world. However, wrapping myself up, and delivering myself to your doorstep seems practically impossible because someone still has to pay the bills. So instead, I opted for this timeless letter of love and sarcasm. A budget-friendly choice, don’t you agree? I wish you lose your wifi signal every time you sneak off to the bathroom during a boring meeting. Crowd gasp! Yeah, I said it! And it's only because I really worry that with how much time you spend in the restroom at work, your boss might start to think you have a digestion issue or something. Seriously though, you are the garlic to my bread, the Monica to my Rachel, and the Mario to my Luigi (or let's be honest, probably the other way around). It's been so many years and we’ve lived through so many things together. Broken hearts, happy times, stressful finals, stupid fights, and fun vacations. I wouldn't trade any of those moments because each one of them has made our bond stronger; each story more interesting; each wrinkle more prominent. You’re a year older, but let's not focus on the downside. Instead, let's emphasize the fact that you are also a year wiser, bolder and, dare I say, better looking? Of course, that might only be because my vision is progressively getting worse year by year. Joking aside, on your birthday, I want to remind you that you're someone I admire and I am incredibly proud of the person you've become. You've enriched my life in countless ways, and I am eternally thankful. Even if life takes us in different directions, know that I am just a call away. Or a letter, a morse code, a smoke signal, or a pigeon away. Okay, scratch the pigeon, I'm terrified of birds. So, here's to another year of your life, my fantastic friend, and here's to many more birthdays to celebrate together. Don't worry; I'll always be here to remind you how old you're getting. With best wishes and a bucket full of love on your special day. Happy Birthday. Always, [Your Name]
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