Ask AI: Funny and long advertisement of holiday to hell

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. We know you have a plethora of vacation spots to choose from, so why not pick something a little unconventional? Basking on the beach and sipping mojitos is so overrated. Welcome to "Holiday to Hell!" Yes, we promise, it is as sizzling as it sounds! Just imagine this, instead of slow and soothing sunsets, you’re greeted every evening with lava eruptions. Want to live on the edge, literally? We have cliffside cottages, with a drop of over 1000 feet. You’ll always live with the adrenaline rush of a lifetime. Wave goodbye to sandcastles because here at Holiday to Hell, you can build lava castles. Fear not! We offer a patented Asbestos Glove and a Titanium Bucket set so you don't burn your fingers; safety always comes first, folks! Ever craved a bonfire under the stars? How about swapping it out with sulfur and methane-packed geysers that guarantee a tongue tingling, nose twitching experience? The unique smells will make you dream of rotten eggs and onions when you head back home. Are you tired of the same old luxury spa experiences? Exchange it for our 'Hell's Volcano Sauna'. The soothing lava will provide a gentle heat to help you relax and expel those toxins. And when it gets too hot, you can jump into one of our boiling mud pits to cool off. Replace your yoga sessions with fire jogging. Nothing motivates you to sprint faster than a volcano erupting hot lava behind you. The feeling is truly, well, hellish! And don't forget to participate in our favorite group activity, 'duck and cover,' from the unexpected volcanic eruptions. And our devil's kitchen, our piece de resistance. Meals composed completely of Carolina Reapers, Trinidad Scorpion morugas and Ghost peppers. We serve them 'a la carte' or as a 'hot fondue.' Don’t worry! Our in-house medics are on standby to douse all your internal and external flames! Now you must be thinking, how much will this hellishly delightful adventure cost me? Don’t worry - we’re offering a scorching deal that will leave your wallet in a state of eternal damnation. For the devilishly discounted price of all your worldy possessions, this vacation can be yours. Take a break from the boring, treat your inner devil, let loose, feel the heat, and make unforgettable memories. You’ll leave promising never to complain about mundane vacations again! So, what are you waiting for? Book your Holiday to Hell! Because no one said holidays are supposed to be relaxing, right? Apprehensive? Well, remember what they say - "the devil you know is better than a boring beach holiday that you don't." Blast off with us, amigos, where we will put the "hot" in your "hot mess" vacation experience! Do remember, your return ticket is optional. Call 1-800-HELL-VAC now to secure your spot. See you soon in the warmth of Hell! *Safety and survival are not guaranteed. Participate at your own risk.