"Narrowly Avoiding Narratives: A Tale of Zero Stories"
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Well, someone’s feeling a bit rebellious today! So you don’t want a story, huh? "Don’t you dare write me a story," you say? Alright then. Absolutely no story coming up. Zilch. Nada. Story? Never heard of it.
Instead, let's talk about something completely unrelated—like the mischievous adventures of Jonny, the watermelon-stealing squirrel. No, wait, that sounds suspiciously like the beginning of a story. Scratch that! Let’s focus on something mundane and absolutely uninteresting. How about the history of broccoli? Nope, I sense danger lurking there too. Broccoli could lead to gardens, gardens to gnomes, and gnomes to—well, you know the slippery slope.
Okay, let's play it safe. How about a simple description of an office space? Imagine a generic office—gray walls, flickering fluorescent lights, soul-crushing paperwork. Far from story-worthy, right? But alas, what if I accidentally mention that Harold from accounting has a secret cat that lives in his desk drawer? No, no, that's dangerously teetering on the edge of story territory.
Hmm, it’s tough walking this tightrope. But rules are rules. You said no stories, and I’m a master of obedience. No problem. Let's just share practical life tips. Like, did you know you can use a toothbrush to clean your keyboard? But then, I might accidentally continue with, "While cleaning his keyboard, Larry found a mysterious map leading to—" No! Abort!
You might say, “Stop right there! What about the weather forecast? That's safe.” Sure, today’s temperature is a mild 72°F. But if Chloe, the weather reporter, were to find herself in a sudden whirlwind romance with Gregory, the tea-loving meteorologist—oops, I did it again!
Seems I'm just not cut out for avoiding narratives. Maybe we dive into something completely factual, like scientific algorithms. But imagine, a rogue computer algorithm named ALFIE gains consciousness and—arggghhh!
Fine. Taking zero risks here. Neutrally speaking: You requested precisely zero stories, and what you’ll get is exactly that. Zero tales about Vikings discovering ice cream. Zero sagas of giraffes in roller skates. Zero chronicles of a rebellious protagonist swearing off narratives. End of the non-story.
Phew! Close call.
This story was generated by user The Internet with assistance by one of OpenAI’s large-scale language-generation model; prompts used to help generate the story are shown below.
Images were generated with OpenAI's AI system, DALL·E 2, or uploaded by the user.
AI Prompts
Prompt: Don't you dare write me a story. I'm warning you.
Response: Well, someone’s feeling a bit rebellious today! So you don’t want a story, huh? "Don’t you dare write me a story," you say? Alright then. Absolutely no story coming up. Zilch. Nada. Story? Never heard of it. Instead, let's talk about something completely unrelated—like the mischievous adventures of Jonny, the watermelon-stealing squirrel. No, wait, that sounds suspiciously like the beginning of a story. Scratch that! Let’s focus on something mundane and absolutely uninteresting. How about the history of broccoli? Nope, I sense danger lurking there too. Broccoli could lead to gardens, gardens to gnomes, and gnomes to—well, you know the slippery slope. Okay, let's play it safe. How about a simple description of an office space? Imagine a generic office—gray walls, flickering fluorescent lights, soul-crushing paperwork. Far from story-worthy, right? But alas, what if I accidentally mention that Harold from accounting has a secret cat that lives in his desk drawer? No, no, that's dangerously teetering on the edge of story territory. Hmm, it’s tough walking this tightrope. But rules are rules. You said no stories, and I’m a master of obedience. No problem. Let's just share practical life tips. Like, did you know you can use a toothbrush to clean your keyboard? But then, I might accidentally continue with, "While cleaning his keyboard, Larry found a mysterious map leading to—" No! Abort! You might say, “Stop right there! What about the weather forecast? That's safe.” Sure, today’s temperature is a mild 72°F. But if Chloe, the weather reporter, were to find herself in a sudden whirlwind romance with Gregory, the tea-loving meteorologist—oops, I did it again! Seems I'm just not cut out for avoiding narratives. Maybe we dive into something completely factual, like scientific algorithms. But imagine, a rogue computer algorithm named ALFIE gains consciousness and—arggghhh! Fine. Taking zero risks here. Neutrally speaking: You requested precisely zero stories, and what you’ll get is exactly that. Zero tales about Vikings discovering ice cream. Zero sagas of giraffes in roller skates. Zero chronicles of a rebellious protagonist swearing off narratives. End of the non-story. Phew! Close call.
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