"Bodyswap Date Disaster: Dad as Kimberly"

It was a sweltering Wednesday afternoon in June, and I was stuck in the ultimate nightmare: my dad, Mr. Stern—the unexceptionally weird Swap Class teacher—was now inhabiting the body of Kimberly, the hottest girl in school. Not only did he know I had the world’s biggest crush on her, but he was doing everything he could to set us up on a "date."

Dad-Kimberly strutted into the living room, adjusting her entirely-too-tight jeans and running perfectly manicured fingers through her hair.

"Heya, buddy! Ready for some quality bonding time?" he said, voice pitched to an unnatural cheerfulness that sounded bizarre coming from her lips.

I cringed and pulled my hoodie over my head a bit further, trying to disappear into the couch. "Daaaad, did you have to go all out with Kimberly’s body? It’s super weird."

"Dad-Kimberly" gave me a deeply unsettling wink. "Oh, come on, Jake. I even did her makeup just right. Don’t I look beautiful?"

Unfortunately, yeah. "Uh, yeah. But that's the problem. It's just... too weird. And did you have to wear that outfit?" I gestured vaguely at the tight jeans and the top that was arguably not designed for “father-son” quality time.

"Kiddo, you said you liked her. I’m just trying to help you out here," he said, sitting down next to me and causing the couch cushions to shift awkwardly.

"Oh yeah, because going on a date with my dad in Kimberly’s body is every sixteen-year-old’s dream scenario," I muttered under my breath.

"So, let’s talk about your feelings, champ." Dad-Kimberly gave me an exaggeratedly bright smile, apparently trying to grease the wheels of teenage romance.

I shook my head violently. "Nope. Nope. Nope. We are not doing this." I jumped up, grabbing my phone as if it was a lifeline to sanity.

"Hey, don’t run away!" he called after me, following me to the kitchen where Mom was busy avoiding this disaster in progress by actually cooking, for the first time in probably ever.

Mom turned, stirring a pot of something that didn’t look entirely burnt for once. "How’s my lovely husband doing as the hottest girl in school?" She sounded way too amused for my taste.

Dad-Kimberly did a little pose, sticking out a hip. "Marvelously, darling. We’re just working through some deep emotional discussions."

I slapped my forehead. "Please, can we just act normal for one day? What if someone from school sees him—or her? They’d freak out!"

Mom chuckled, throwing some seasoning into the pot. "Oh, honey, teenagers are resilient. They’ll adapt."

Dad-Kimberly sat down at the kitchen counter, crossing legs daintily. "You know, I could really use some advice on how to do that cute little flirtatious laugh Kimberly does. Think you could demonstrate?"

"No! Absolutely not!" I banged my forehead lightly against the fridge. "Why don’t you just... I dunno, grade some papers or something?”

Dad-Kimberly pouted dramatically—an expression so surreal I felt my soul leave my body for a second. "Fine, fine. But remember, I’m only doing this for you, Jake. I got all this hotness and charm for your benefit."

I didn’t trust myself to respond, so I grabbed an apple and headed for the stairs. "I’m going to my room. Please, for all that’s holy, don’t follow me."

As I trudged upstairs, I heard Dad-Kimberly holler after me, "If you change your mind about that date, I’ve got a killer restaurant idea! And I promise not to embarrass you... too much!"

I slammed my bedroom door and flopped onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. This semester couldn’t end soon enough.

In that moment, I swore one thing: I’d never let my kid sign up for Swap Class. Ever.

This story was generated by user zach3 with assistance by one of OpenAI’s large-scale language-generation model; prompts used to help generate the story are shown below.

Images were generated with OpenAI's AI system, DALL·E 2, or uploaded by the user.

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