My made bed with fresh sheets

Episode #4

Group to Self to Connection?

Apr. 23, 2017 - Back at it again. Started the day off tired. Hit the snooze about 7 times. Finally got up, rushed some food then off to wait for the group project.

Of course this dude is an hour and a half late. Thanks for the heads up. The other guy and I just kind of hang out. He's actually pretty cool, but I'm sure I've come off as a dick since I'm not here to make friends; I'm here to get a good grade.

Late dude comes. We work. Coffee break time. I get this fucking amazing, thick hot chocolate. Solid, but my eyes kind of hurt from the cold outside.

Back to working. Not the best project, since our quantitative trading strategy is kind of shitty, only has a sharpe ratio of like 1.9 and its gains are pretty much only from using leverage. Whatevs. We finish because late dude had plans for dinner.

Not actually as annoyed as I'm coming off, but this is a good place to vent. It just seems inconsiderate. I was actually just telling Sally how I usually really liked group projects. Maybe I just like control? I feel like I will be a great manager. Nobody has ever told me I'm a dick or gotten frustrated with me for that, but I feel like I could shut down not the best ideas with more grace.

Back to the room. Watch videos. Demolish in tagpro. Take a quick nap. Do some laundry.

Let's go eat. Damn these lines are huge. Sure, I'll eat rice. Back to the room. Laundry out of the dryer. Lay on that warm stuff, baby.

Put away now wrinkled clothes. Watch silicon valley, but not really enjoy it as I had to make sure I could update my the webpage asap. Still no comments or likes, but a few upvotes on Reddit.

Got a call from my cousin. He seems good, but kind of like he longs for something. Maybe I'm projecting. I kind of ran off to this city, and see anyone staying back in my hometown like they're living this bland life, but wtf am I doing?

Ehhh I kind of used to think like that, but actually I've been having a pretty solid time. Not doing anything these next few weeks because of school, but before that was pretty great.

He's been on a few tinder dates, but looking for some progress. I hope he finds it. Also he brings the new info. My brother's gf is pregnant?

I probably should know these things? I've kind of lost this connection to everyone that I don't know if I ever had. Why are people friends? Why do relationships matter? Isn't it all a bit arbitrary? Why can't I just call up my brother?

I guess it's something I'll forget about when I get back to my "plan".

Time to do a bit more work on the project and then hit the hay.

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